MY STORY, RAW, DIRECT...
On 15th March 2018, my dad passed away, and it broke me. I remember sitting in his chair, staring at him lying there under a white sheet after the paramedics had pronounced him dead. His skin had turned purple, and I kept telling myself it was a bad dream, that I would wake up and this wouldn’t be real. But I didn’t. I lay next to him and whispered, “I’ll be with you soon.” Three days later, I took an overdose. The truth is, I didn’t want to die, I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted the feeling inside me to go away. I was blue lighted to hospital. I don’t remember much, but I remember a nurse reassuring me I was safe, and I said, “I’m very anxious… I don’t want to die.” That moment changed everything, I realised something most people don’t talk about I didn’t want my life to end, I wanted the feeling to go.
THE TURNING POINT
After surviving my overdose and being discharged from hospital, I went to my GP, knowing I needed help. I spoke openly about losing my dad, about the pain I felt, drinking everyday and about taking an OD.
I was referred to the mental health team and psychiatrist and few months later I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Prescribed medication, but I struggled to take it as I got intrusive thoughts they would harm me. I was told that Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) would help, but I couldn’t access it in my area. That hit me hard and felt hopeless. I said to myself that even when people reach out for help, the support they need isn’t always there. I always thought now after the diagnosis it would be easier to access therapy. I was very wrong! That frustration, combined with attempting to end my life. I started thinking, how many people are alone and struggling silently, overwhelmed by a diagnosis or waiting for care that never comes? That’s when activism stopped being just an idea and became a responsibility. I didn’t want anyone to give me sympathy, attention, or fame. I wanted change.
When you become an activist you dedicate your life for others, promoting mental health awareness, taking action with campaigns that bring positive change, educating society and share your own experiences to help others. I wanted to make sure no one feels lost or unheard as I did. My fight wasn’t just about my pain, it became about serving everyone who feels alone, unheard, or invisible, and turning survival into purpose. Having a BPD diagnosis came with alot of stigma and that drove me even more!
CHARLIE THE TEDDY DUCK
Met a lovely person at Manchester Christmas Markets in 2019 and up until that point, Charlie used to stay zipped up inside my bag.
He was my comfort after losing my dad. He helped me through the darkest times and the nights when I felt alone and needed something to hold onto. When everything felt empty, Charlie gave me comfort. He helped me feel less alone.
Meeting James that day shifted something. I remember him saying, “I’m glad you brought Charlie today. The world needs him to help others like he helps you. Don’t worry about what people think.” Those words stayed with me. I had worried about being judged. About being laughed at. About not being taken seriously.
But that day I realised something important, strength isn’t about hiding vulnerability, it’s about using it. That was the moment Charlie stopped being something I kept hidden in my bag and became something I shared with the world.
That was the birth of John and Charlie's Journey.
Charlie brings the smiles and the cuddles.
I bring the conversation.
Together, we create a space where people can open up about their struggles, their trauma, their grief, their anxiety, and that expressing how you feel is not weakness. It’s being human and that is valid.
THE MOVEMENT WAS BORN
John and Charlie’s Journey is a mental health movement created to raise awareness, reduce judgment, and challenge stigma. Charlie provides the cuddles and the smiles. I provide the connection, listening to people, sharing my lived experience, and signposting them to the right support when they need it. By speaking openly about my own struggles, I’ve seen how powerful honesty can be. When you share your struggles, it gives helps others to share theirs. It helps people realise they are not the only ones feeling the way they do.
Our mission: to make mental health conversations safer. Creating a non-judgmental environment where people feel heard, valued, and supported. To empower others by giving them something that can’t be bought, time.
You can’t buy time. And when you give it to someone who is struggling, it means everything. Means the absolute world!
This movement exists to help people feel less alone. To show that comfort is not weakness. To normalise adults taking your teddy, your plushie, or whatever helps you cope, out into the world without shame and just do what helps you.
Because if something brings you comfort and helps you then do not worry about others, only you.
COMFORT ZONE
One of the most life changing moments in my journey came when I was invited on stage with Keith Duffy of Boyzone and Brain Mcfadden of Westlife. I was nervous. Terrified. My stomach was in knots, my hands clammy, and I tried everything to avoid speaking.
Keith asked me to share with the audience what Charlie and I were doing, raising awareness for mental health and helping others feel less alone. He spoke about his friend Caroline Flack who recently took her own life, and how important it is to talk openly about mental health and he expressed how we could help someone in the audience that night who needed some hope.
I was scared, I felt sick, but in that moment, I realised that stepping out of my comfort zone was exactly what I needed. Keith whispered in my ear, “You can do this, son.” And I did. That made me so emotional!
I shared my story. I shared our mission. I spoke about the struggles people face and how Charlie helps open conversations that save lives. By the end, the audience was listening, shouting CHARLIE, CHARLIE and afterwards, fans came up to me and Charlie saying it was raw, brave, and real. There was 1000's with there cameras flash on, surreal experience!
That night changed everything. It broke me. It gave me confidence. It showed me that holding back out of fear was the thing holding me back from helping others. From that moment, I understood that bravery isn’t about being fearless, it’s about taking action despite the fear.
I WAS STOPPED FROM SUICIDE
I want to thank Angela Samata, who worked on the suicide storyline that saved my life. I would not be here today if it weren’t for her and Lime Pictures, who produce Hollyoaks.
During the first lockdown in March 2020, I found myself in a very dark place again, a feeling I thought I would never experience after my earlier struggles. I felt utterly alone, trapped inside my house, until a Hollyoaks suicide storyline reached me in a way nothing else had. It cut through the silence, the fear, and the isolation. I reached out to the Samaritans to offload what I was feeling, and later shared my experience on a BBC Sounds podcast with Ashley Taylor Dawson, who portrayed Darren in the storyline. We had a big conversation, and I thanked him personally for saving my life.
That experience inspired me. In 2021, I co-created, inspired, and appeared in Hollyoaks IRL, a series featuring real people whose lives had been helped by storylines on Hollyoaks. From there, I volunteered with MIND and the Samaritans to create training for media guideliness which helped production companies and journalists portray mental health topics responsibly and using lived experiences.
A truly unforgettable moment came when I attended the BAFTA TV Awards, and brought Charlie, my teddy duck, with me for the first time a teddy duck on the red carpet. Seeing him there, a symbol of comfort and hope, felt incredible. It reminded me how far the journey had come, from sitting alone in my darkest moments to standing on a stage where our message could reach so many.
My work as a mental health activist and advocate has since been recognised publicly, including a BAFTA TV nomination in 2022, and collecting the Royal Television Award for Limepictures.
For me, it was never about being nominated, winning, or being on the red carpet. It has always been about turning my experiences into purpose and helping others who feel alone to feel seen, supported, and reminded that they are never alone.
MENTAL HEALTH CALLS
I was invited to speak on Sky News with Sarah-Jane Mee in 2023, after a 14,000-signature petition was spotted by sky news, and it's highlighting concerns about police responding to mental health calls without proper training and about officers attending fewer mental health incidents. I stressed that Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training) is essential for police officers, as it equips them with the skills and knowledge to safely and effectively support people experiencing mental health crisis.
Currently, there is no national mandate, and training varies widely across forces, leaving many officers unprepared for these situations. MHFA training helps officers recognise crises, respond safely, and guide people to professional support. This is an issue we are still fighting today, pushing for change so that every officer is equipped to protect and support people in crisis.
